OCTOBER 30, 2008 issue
About Split Lips and Broken Bones
Appalachian Women’s Fund Members Tour OASIS Shelter
Story by Kathleen McFadden
Not so long ago, communities didn’t talk about men who beat up their wives or girlfriends or about women who battered their husbands or boyfriends. Those occurrences, along with threats of physical violence, were family matters and nobody else’s business.
That attitude was reflected in pop culture. In just one example from the 1950s, Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden routinely shook his fist at Audrey Meadows who played his wife Alice on television’s The Honeymooners and threatened to send her to the moon or give her one “right in the kisser.” Those scenes were always presented as a big joke and it was all okay because after the threats and the resolution of that week’s conflict, Ralph always hugged Alice and told her how wonderful she was.
Today, however, domestic violence is no joke and no longer a strictly behind-closed-doors issue. Showing remorse after making threats or hurting someone no longer makes the intimidation and violence okay. Communities talk about the black eyes, the broken bones, the split lips—and the murders. Law enforcement responds to domestic violence calls. Communities provide safe houses for victims who decide to leave their abusers, along with case management and resource referral to help them find a way out and a way forward.
In Watauga County, OASIS provides those services, and OASIS is busy because domestic violence happens in Watauga County. Last year, the organization served 200 adult clients and 200 children, and its one shelter houses an average of 60 families per year.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and last week, members of the Appalachian Women’s Fund met OASIS Executive Director Jennifer Herman at the OASIS office to discuss the organization’s work and then tour the shelter.
The word shelter may make you think of a gym or warehouse with cots, but the OASIS shelter is a comfortable and inviting home. There’s a children’s playroom with toys and games, a living room with cozy seating and a television, an outdoor play area and bedrooms upstairs. Money from a Governor’s Crime Commission grant recently paid for significant security upgrades, including a closed circuit camera system and a double-locking foyer.
But the shelter is small, with the capacity to house only 12 people at a time.
There’s one washer and one dryer. The eat-in kitchen cannot accommodate all the residents, so meals are taken in shifts. The stairs are steep and narrow.
A big dream at OASIS is to expand and upgrade the shelter, and the staff hopes to find funding and sponsors for that project in the coming years. For now, though, the focus is on day-to-day needs, and the Appalachian Women’s Fund board members who toured the shelter took the project on that very night in the shelter’s kitchen, volunteering to supply much-needed personal items and to pack them into plastic tubs that OASIS clients can use for storage and transport.
In addition, the Appalachian Women’s Fund recently announced a grant to OASIS that will fund a support group for survivors—a group that Herman says provides community, friendship and a lifeline for its members.
Domestic violence, while far from eradicated, is out in the open, and nonprofits such as OASIS and the Appalachian Women’s Fund have stepped in to help ensure that it never goes behind closed doors again.
Community members can assist this effort in a variety of ways: by volunteering, by contributing money, by donating items on the OASIS wish list and by adopting a shelter family for the holidays. All tax-deductible donations will help survivors move toward a life free of fear and violence. Mail donations to PO Box 1591, Boone, NC 28607.
For more information, call OASIS 828-264-1532 or the Appalachian Women’s Fund at 828-264-4002. If you are the victim of domestic violence or sexual assault, call the OASIS Crisis Line at 828-262-5035.
OASIS Holiday Adoption Program
Every year, OASIS invites individuals and businesses to adopt one of the nonprofit’s clients and provide gifts to brighten her holidays. Last year, caring community members provided more than $7,000 worth of gifts for nearly 20 households.
This year’s deadline to adopt is Monday, December 1, but clients’ wish lists will be ready by Saturday, November 15.
Contact Jessica Brown at 828-264-1532 for more information.
OASIS Wish List
The OASIS shelter always needs stuff, and so do OASIS clients. Here’s the nonprofit’s current wish list:
• New cordless phone
• Phone cards
• Grocery gift cards
• Wal-Mart gift cards
• Floor lamp
• Feminine hygiene products
• Full-size toiletries
• Toothpaste and toothbrushes
• Shampoo and conditioner
• Deodorant
• Soap
• New hairbrushes
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