Taking On Bullying

The Right To Feel Safe at School

Story by Anna Oakes

Editor’s Note: Some of the names in this article have been changed to protect the identities of the interviewees.

Sharon’s face pressed uncomfortably against the shadowy bottom of a tall garbage can, her body bound from head to toe with masking tape. Egged on by the popular girls at Watauga High School, a group of boys had snatched Sharon from her crutches, wrapped her in tape and turned her upside down in the trash receptacle.

Mortified, angry and hurt, Sharon managed to get herself out by rocking the can back and forth.

“It was really embarrassing and maddening,” Sharon said. The incident was one of many she endured from third grade through high school. She was held down while bullies covered the seat of her pants with red paint. Harassed for not being religious. Teased about her acne problem. In the fifth grade, one girl wrote a fake love note to Sharon from a boy she had a crush on.

More than 20 years later, Sharon said years of bullying has left her distrustful of women, affecting her ability to make friendships.

“I think that these things have deep and lasting effects on people,” she said.

Sharon’s struggles happened a couple decades ago, but bullying continues in local schools. In a survey of 111 middle school students enrolled in the Western Youth Network’s afterschool program in 2007-08, 53 percent reported that bullying was a big or medium problem at their schools.

And just a few years ago, one local student was bullied so frequently that he attempted to end his life—several times.

Local school leaders suggest that bullying isn’t as bad here as in other areas, but they lack the numbers to prove it because schools have been slow to fully comply with mandated reporting procedures.

This week and next week, High Country Press takes a look at bullying and what is being done to combat the problem locally.


The Prevalence & Effects of Bullying
An April 2001 study published in JAMA (The Journal of the American Medical Association) found that 29.9 percent of 15,686 United States students in grades 6 through 10 reported moderate or frequent involvement in bullying—either as a bully, a victim of bullying or both.

“This study indicates that bullying is a serious problem for U.S. youth,” concluded the study, conducted by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. “Given the concurrent behavioral and emotional difficulties associated with bullying, as well as the potential long-term negative outcomes for these youth, the issue of bullying merits serious attention.”

A study published in Pediatrics in December 2003 found the proportion of students involved in bullying to be 22 percent.

Yet, not everyone agrees that bullying is a serious problem facing youth. Benjamin Soskis, a writer for The New Republic, has argued that bullying numbers are high because bullying is defined too broadly. He warns that anti-bullying efforts may target normal adolescent behavior and prevent children from learning important social skills that are a part of growing up.

But an increasing body of research from Europe and the United States finds that bullying is harmful—not helpful—to children’s development.

An article summating numerous studies conducted between 1978 and 2002 was published in the Journal of School Health in May 2003. The article, titled “The Nature and Extent of Bullying at School,” cited reports that found bullying victims were four times more likely to suffer from depressive symptoms. Children who bully were 2.8 to 4.3 times more likely and children who are both bullies and victims were 6.3 to 8.8 times more likely to experience depression.

Children in these three groups were between two to four times more likely to report severe suicidal thoughts, the article said.

Bully victims are also more likely to experience loneliness, low self-esteem, anxiety, psychiatric problems, eating disorders, physical health problems, difficulty adjusting to school and greater rates of absenteeism. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, as many as 160,000 students stay home on any given day because they’re afraid of being bullied.

Just a few years ago, repeated bullying began to take a heavy toll on Michael, a student at Watauga High School. Although he wasn’t out at the time and tried desperately to fit in, Michael was bullied incessantly for being gay. The worst of it came during his middle school years at Parkway Elementary, but the hitting, punching, teasing and name-calling continued through high school.

“He didn’t want to be there. It was hard to face the world,” his mother Helen said. “It was terrible—you don’t know how to help your son. I didn’t know how to deal with it, or where to go.” Michael made several attempts at suicide throughout middle and high school, leaving behind notes that said, “I can’t do it anymore.”

Helen visited counselors and psychologists with her son, but he was reluctant to talk to them. His wellbeing only improved when he moved away to a big city after high school, she said.

“I really feel he didn’t get any help until he went to a place where he felt comfortable,” she said. “[Bullying] needs to be taken seriously. My son could have easily lost his life.”

Children who bully are also more likely to suffer from psychiatric problems and eating disorders and are more likely to engage in substance abuse, fighting behaviors, criminal misconduct and academic misconduct, the Journal of School Health article stated. Reports have found bullyers are likely to have more difficulty adjusting to school and to be physically and socially aggressive toward dating partners.

Lindsey Miller, shelter manager for OASIS, Watauga County's domestic violence shelter and services organization, attended an anti-bullying workshop held at the Boone Unitarian Universalist Fellowship September 11 because she is interested in the relationship between bullying and domestic violence.

In conversations with friends, acquaintances, OASIS clients and clients’ significant others, Miller found that many of them witnessed domestic violence at home or experienced bullying in school.

“Because domestic violence and sexual assault are both issues of power and control, bullying fits right in with this,” Miller said. “Perhaps they were the bullyer, perhaps they were the bullied. When an individual feels like someone is taking their own personal power away, they may choose an unhealthy path in order to take that power back through exploitative or hurtful means.”


What It Is, What It Isn’t
Bullying can include physical actions, including hitting, pushing, holding and hostile gesturing. Verbal bullying actions include threats, humiliation, degradation, teasing, name-calling and taunting. Other forms of bullying are spreading rumors, staring, manipulating friendship and social exclusion.

Cheryl Irwin, guidance counselor at Hardin Park Elementary for grades 5 through 8, is concerned that varying perceptions of what constitutes bullying can skew reports of the offense.

“I really think that people don’t know the definition of bullying,” Irwin said. In the definition she uses, four elements distinguish bullying from unfriendly behavior: 1) it is on purpose; 2) it is ongoing; 3) it is hurtful to the target; and 4) it is power motivated—the bullying person takes power from the target.

“All four elements have to occur before we call a behavior bullying, except in extreme cases,” Irwin said in a September 2 letter to Hardin Park parents and guardians. She said her definition is based on best practices.

Often, a child will accuse another child of bullying, but once the two children participate in mediation, another side of the story comes out, Irwin said.

“If it’s back and forth, that’s not bullying,” she said. “It’s a different level; it’s not just being unfriendly. It’s kind of tricky sometimes.”

Differences in bullying definitions can lead to under- or over-reporting of bullying incidents, depending on which definition is accepted. For instance, some studies have found that children do not believe incidents have to be repeated or ongoing to qualify as bullying.

Irwin said children typically bully other children because of some kind of difference, including appearance, personality type, disability, race, perceived sexual orientation, size, clothing, accent and socioeconomic level.

“Almost any kind of difference can get singled out by kids,” she said.

Sharon believes that bullying based on religion is more common in the South. A friend joined a Bible study club in high school, and she ended her friendship with Sharon because she wasn’t religious. Students also teased, “We’re saved and you’re not.”

Children are not more likely to bully based on traits such as socioeconomic level or race, studies say, but bullies all share one thing in common—the need for power.

“Someone who is going to bully another person is going to do it because they need to feel bigger,” said Candis Walker, a school counselor at Watauga High who has also worked in Avery County. “That leaves you to wonder what it is about that person that leaves them with that need.”

Researchers have found differences in ways girls and boys bully. Several studies have found boys tend to use more direct, physical attacks, while girls tend to use more indirect aggression, such as social exclusion from a group or spreading rumors. Both sexes are just as likely as the other to engage in direct verbal bullying attacks, such as name-calling.

“I think that women are much worse bullies than men are,” said Sharon. “I think bullying is more of an emotional, social thing which women cut their teeth on. Girls are just vicious.”

Forms of the offense can also differ with age. Most physical bullying—pushing and shoving—occurs at younger ages. Young children can also exclude each other by saying, “You can’t play with me,” Irwin said. In middle school, spreading gossip and rumors become more common—something that can continue into adulthood.

“Sometimes, people never break that. They may not even realize they’re bullying,” she said.

Although educators are charged with ensuring the safety of students, teachers themselves can sometimes be bullies. Nanci Tolbert Nance, a retired Watauga High School teacher, said she occasionally heard teachers in their own classrooms speaking inappropriately to students.

“I know that bullying comes from both sides,” Nance said. “That’s certainly one element I’m hoping we can eliminate.” Nance retired about 10 years ago.

Sharon said she “had a teacher who bullied me quite badly.” When Sharon spoke up in class, the teacher would make fun of her. The problem became so severe that Sharon’s mother pulled her from the class and enrolled her in English class at ASU.

“[The teacher] was making you feel small for your thoughts when you’re already feeling bad about yourself,” she said.


Where Does Bullying Happen?
Bullying sometimes happens in private, but most often, bullying takes place in social situations—where bullies have an audience, said Annette Green, a Greensboro activist who facilitated a September 11 anti-bullying workshop held at the Boone Unitarian Universalist Fellowship.

The incidents typically take place in locations outside of the classroom, such as the bathrooms, the cafeteria, hallways, locker rooms and the school bus.

“Anywhere they had any spare time,” said La Verne Franklin, a retired high school cosmetology teacher.

A recent survey of Avery Middle School students found that students feel safest in the classroom, followed by the lunchroom, locker room and hallways. Students reported feeling least safe in the restroom.

According to Avery County Schools Assistant Superintendent Diane Jaynes, “the problem with bullying is kids are not going to bully in front of an adult.”

Several reports have found that neither school nor class size is related to the prevalence of bullying, states a summer 2001 article in the American Educational Research Journal. Neither is the racial-ethnic structure of the school, the article said. Studies differ, however, on whether the location of schools—in urban or rural areas—affect the occurrences of bullying. The same article found that schools in large cities tend to have more bullying incidents than schools in small towns, but the aforementioned JAMA study found little variation between urban, suburban, town and rural areas.

“I don’t think it’s as bad here in the mountain region as it is other places,” Jaynes said. “I think all in all we have good kids. Bullying is bullying no matter where it is; I just don’t think we have as much or to the extreme that you would in an urban area.”

Franklin agrees.

“I still don’t think it’s a major problem up here,” she said.

But Nance isn’t convinced the problem is less significant in the High Country than in other areas.

“Bullying cannot be isolated to any social group, any geographical area, any racial group. Bullying exists across the board, wherever you have human beings,” she said. “The fact that it exists now is no justification for allowing it to continue, and even one instance is too many.”

Schools are increasingly battling a new frontier for intimidation and harassment—cyberbullying. Cyberbullying can involve sending mean or threatening messages or private information through emails, instant messaging and text or picture messages on cell phones.

“Texting with cell phones has gotten to be pretty hideous,” said Frank Taylor, assistant principal at Avery Middle School. In a recent survey, about half of students said their parents do not monitor their phone use, he said.

“These kids can use a cell phone far, far better than their parents,” he added.

Angela Grimes, afterschool program director for the Western Youth Network, said, “Kids take pictures of each other when they shouldn’t and send it around. We definitely have to watch the cell phone use.”


‘Not Just Kids Being Kids’
About a decade ago, school leaders stopped saying “boys will be boys” and started to take a hard look at bullying.

Although recent reports have disputed claims that the two teens who killed 13 people and themselves at Columbine High School in Colorado were bullying victims, it was the 1999 Columbine tragedy and similar school shootings that spawned a national debate about bullying.

“The way we looked at bullying changed then,” Taylor said. “Before, it was, ‘Get tough, kid, get over it, you’ve got to get tough.’” Now, the focus is on stopping the bullying behavior, he said.

Following the attack at Columbine High School, the U.S. Secret Service and U.S. Department of Education launched a collaborative effort in June 1999 called the Safe School Initiative, an examination of 37 targeted school shootings and attacks that occurred in the United States from December 1974 through May 2000. One of the 10 key findings of the initiative’s final report, published in May 2002, was that “many attackers felt bullied, persecuted or injured by others prior to the attack.”

“In several cases, individual attackers had experienced bullying and harassment that was longstanding and severe,” the report stated. “In some of these cases, the experience of being bullied seemed to have a significant impact on the attacker and appeared to have been a factor in his decision to mount an attack at the school.”

In 2004, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Health Resources and Services Administration (HRSA) launched the Stop Bullying Now! campaign in partnership with more than 70 health, safety, education and faith-based organizations. The campaign is directed at children ages 9 to 13.

Irwin, who has spent 15 years as a school counselor, said she first started paying more attention to the bullying issue in the 1990s and received training in conflict management and mediation.

“It is not okay; it is not acceptable. It’s not just kids being kids,” she said. “One hundred percent of kids will say something unfriendly at some time or another, but very few kids actually bully.”

Types of Bullying

- hitting/pushing
- hostile gesturing
- threats
- humiliation
- teasing
- name-calling
- spreading rumors
- manipulating friendship
- social exclusion

The Definition of Bullying:

According to Hardin Park Elementary school counselor Cheryl Irwin, four elements distinguish bullying from unfriendly behavior:
1. It is on purpose
2. It is ongoing
3. It is hurtful to the target
4. It is power motivated—the bullying person takes power from the target

Effects of Bullying

Children who are bullied or who bully are more likely to experience:

• depressive symptoms
• anxiety
• severe suicidal thoughts
• psychiatric problems
• eating disorders
• substance abuse
• criminal miscounduct

Students Think Bullying Is a Problem

In 2007-08, the Support Our Students (SOS) program surveyed students in North Carolina about bullying. In Watauga County, 111 students from all area elementary schools enrolled in the SOS-supported Western Youth Network middle school afterschool program took the survey. The results:

How big of a problem do you think bullying is at your school?
Big Problem—28%
Medium Problem—25%
Small Problem—19%
Not a Problem—28%

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